Slagathor.

As I read, I laugh.

I see the writer, same as I always have. And I read the jabs directed at me. Cute, really. I'm sure you will read this soon, writer. And, so, I write for you.

No matter what happens, I believe in you. You could shoot me and I'd still believe in you. I ALWAYS HAVE, you damn idiot.

Your writing is amazing. Small issues, like always. But when I read it, it comes alive. I may cry before the book is done, and you know why. I have seen what it was, and now I get to see what it has become. I fell in love with that character on day one, when he was in a notebook and the female lead was based on her.

Things went bad, and that's on me. I get it. I am the worst person on Earth and in the universe. I don't need the fighting to know that. Actually, I quite enjoy it, for once.

Because of what is there, you could be in China and I could touch your hand. Creepy, yes, but that's just the way it is. I have no faith in anything anymore, except one thing. YOU. You jerk. You've done unspeakable things (so have I), yet it's still right there.

I remember every stupid little thing about you. I haven't seen you in years, or heard your voice, but I remember. I remember college. I remember Fishy Kisser. And the worst things ever. Still very unfair. I remember the longest bike ride ever. And Vampire games that don't exist anymore.

I was there. I'll continue to be there, in one form or another. And I will believe in you, no matter what. So believe in yourself, or I'll pee on your shoes. (You know why, you dick.)

What I Pulled From the Ashes

You are the writer, I'm not. So sorry if it is crap lol.

We burned our world down, but some things will always remain. The cars we owned, the songs we sang, running away. We held on too tight and let go too fast. We both have scars, some worse than others. But I'm still here, as I always have been, Waiting. Not now, though. It's too much and we know it. We are Broken and bent. (Sorry but bent makes me laugh.) My shoes are gone and forgotten. But I remember the dragons. We may never make it out of this hole we created, never get the trust back. But I'll keep fighting for at least some shred of it. The past can't be changed. The future is still there. We didn't die at 25, we won't be married at 40. There are no more flowers, or stupid dances. It's just us, fighting as we always manage to do, until it's no longer fighting, just pain.

The pain is fine, I'll hold your hand forever, whether I'm there or not. Bound, connected, pulled. Sucks for us lol.

Always.

The World We Live In

I am not going to use special fonts and colors today. This post doesn't need anything taking away from the message. Also, I apologize that this is not one coherent thought. I am fighting tears as I write this, because it means so much.

The world sucks. More importantly, the people in it suck. If you don't agree, you can get off my page right now, because you are the damn problem.

We are living in what should be the BEST TIME. We have self driving cars, are making breakthroughs in every industry, and could easily make living conditions better for everyone if we put our minds to it.

Instead, we are filled with HATE. People are protesting the national anthem, and instead of asking why, we say they should be shot in the head?! 'We need to build a wall." WHAT?!?! When did it become popular opinion that homeless people are there because they are lazy? Did I miss the memo? How did we erase years and years of protests, speeches, and laws for equality? Where did all this racism and prejudice come from AGAIN? Calm down, Hitler Jrs.

I can't even watch the news anymore. There is so much death and hatred that it is slowly killing my soul. I have two girls, and I don't want them growing up in a world where they can be raped and have it be their fault. I was raped as a teenager, and in an abusive marriage. Guess what? It was NEVER my fault.

(This book is extremely powerful, especially in a time when so many victims are blamed.)

People are being shot in the streets, and apparently the answer is MORE VIOLENCE. Peaceful protests are being met with death threats, and riots are met with just death. STOP KILLING EACH OTHER! And we are breeding the next generation, which is going the same route. Have you seen all those videos of little kids beating each other up while adults just laugh? WTF. How are you even surprised that people are killing their kids and doing horrific acts to them?

This year is election year. Both main candidates are ridiculous. Instead of focusing on trying to make the country better, it's all about personal attacks and idiocy. I watched a clip today where a Trump supporter said Obama didn't do enough during 9/11, when he wasn't even president. I wanted to scream. (Shut up, shut up, shut up! Presidents have a tough job, and like it or not, they are doing what they think is right. Get over it, because you would do a hell of a lot worse if you were in office.)

We are headed for a civil war. Sadly, that is exactly what the hate filled people want. IT DOESN'T END THE WAY YOU WANT! It ends in death of people you love, and no one truly being happy. There is no reason for this crap. People are people, even when they are different. There is no need for hatred, and clowns, and murders. We need LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

(They got it right.)

If you help others, it will help everyone. Love grows if you cultivate it, as does hate. Thanksgiving is coming up, when everyone loves to donate food and clothes and money to the needy. Why do we only do that one time a year?? Food banks and donation drives are year round. DO MORE.

What upset me a lot (as well as my husband) is that there are all these empty houses and lots, and tons of homeless. Why are we not providing housing to these people? The majority had jobs and homes and just hit a rough patch, and now are facing discrimination because they can't get a shower every day or wash their clothes. Not every person on the street is bad or lazy. Where I used to live, there was a homeless man who slept on the same bench every night. They removed the bench.

Other countries made it mandatory for grocery stores to donate outdated food instead of throwing it away (outdated food can actually last a lot longer than they will sell it for, especially if you freeze it). Why are we not doing this? So much food goes to waste, and yet we are still telling our kids that there are kids starving in Ethiopia. THEY ARE STARVING HERE TOO.

Again, I apologize for "bringing you down". But if you aren't already depressed about the world our children are growing up in, and what they are learning, then you either live in a bubble or are part of the problem. We are on the path to destruction, and only we can fix it. One person can change the world, if they believe they can. Whether you change it for better or worse is up to you.

Oh, crap. The holidays are coming.

Uh-oh. It's almost that time of year again.

Family, gift-giving, shopping, and celebrations.

Crap.

I don't know about you, but I always stress out so much, trying to make everything perfect, making sure everyone has the perfect presents. Most of my family will be happy no matter what... but my oldest... she is so hard to shop for sometimes. Every year she changes (obviously). Different colors, styles, etc. This year, I think I have her number, though. She swears she wants this damn stuffed dog, but someone else can get her that. I found such special things (I can't give away too much in case someone she knows reads this lol). I will say, most of her stocking stuffers will be of the pretty variety, which is made way too easy for me because of Avon. Seriously, if you have girls, pretty and smelly things are uber cheap.

Anyway, I always look for really creative things for each person. It's lost on the tiny one, but last year, I got my dad signed pictures from Star Trek, my hubby skull salt and pepper shakers as well as tiny Pokemon figurines, and my daughter a ton of vintage books as well as art supplies. This year, I am stumped for the guys. Ugh.

Then there is holiday cooking. I share my daughter with her father for holidays, and this year I get her for both big dinners. No clue how I'm pulling that off. I am a baker, I suck at cooking turkeys, hams, whatever. Still going to attempt it, and if it is awful, I guess there's always chicken wings!

Full disclosure: Halloween is my favorite holiday. This year, it falls on a Monday, and with piano practice and work and blahblahblah, it's not possible to go trick-or-treating. So, we are doing a celebration on the weekend, with fun baking, dressup, and scary movies (or Halloweentown).

I know this post is crazy random, but I've been mulling all this over for DAYS and needed to get it out. Obviously, I will be posting closer to each holiday with special features and such. Also, maybe a giveaway (hosted by me, not someone else), but not positive yet.

Have a wonderful day!!!