Review: Real Meal: Meal Replacement Powder

 Disclaimer: This is my honest opinion. I am not sponsored, nor am I a Beachbody coach. If this product is your favorite ever, I am sorry, but it does not work for me.

I purchased the Real Meal Powder from Pure Food after reading reviews only about the benefits, the price, and how it was comparable to Shakeology.

I was excited to try this, because it was a decent price... I did not look into that enough. I read that the flavor is really good, it is filling, quells cravings.... 

I found none of this. 

• PRICE: After I received it and went to make it, I found that a serving is two LARGE scoops per 10 oz liquid. This means you get 10 servings per container. When you do the math, it is around the same price as Shakeology, just broken into smaller payments.

• FLAVOR: I don't care how healthy something is, if it doesn't taste good I will not ingest it. I manage to drink half of my shake on the days that I make it, and most days don't even bother because it does nothing for me. I have mixed it with water and milk, tried adding flavorings, but it isn't worth it to me. 

• FILLING/CRAVINGS: This does absolutely nothing for me. I get no energy from this, my cravings are still there, I am still hungry. I actually suffer trying to finish drinking this. Mixing it with milk and some coffee powder helps a tiny bit, but not enough for me to repurchase. Especially since most days I walk right by it and grab a snack instead.

I have also found something else, and I tested this a few times to see if it was a fluke: It does not mix properly. the powder settles to the bottom of my BlenderBottle within a few minutes, no matter how much I shake it. So every time I take a sip, I have to shake it up again. That is a lot of work and annoying for someone who has sensory overload issues.

I will definitely be repurchasing Shakeology once I am finally done this. Here is why:

• While it has a large price tag, it is for a month supply.
• Six flavors (compared to two), both in Whey and Vegan formulas
• Tastes amazing, extremely versatile
• When I used to drink this, I craved THIS. I was excited to have it every morning, and I was always finding new recipes to liven up the flavor
• Mixes easily, stays mixed
• Boosts energy naturally (this helped me kick soda the first time)
• Offers combo packs, samplers, and numerous auto-ship options (can be purchased in a bag or single serve packets)

Not gonna lie, I have literally nothing bad to say about Shakeology, or Beachbody in general. I still use the workout programs. I trust their products. I remember trying other shakes while I was still a coach, and I disliked all of them compared to this. 

Final point: I'd rather pay a little more for something I know works for me, than something that I am so frustrated with that I don't even want to be bothered most days.

Doing The Damn Thing

 I am writing a book... I think.

I desperately wanted a sequel to Haunting Of Hill House. There are, however, zero plans of one being made. So I am doing it myself. As well as a prequel (after I finish the first book) fleshing out the ghosts and who they were in life. 

The reason I say "I think" is because I have no clue how long this will be, and where it is going. It could be utter trash by the time it is complete. But, I am not doing it for anyone else. I am doing it to satisfy a need I have. Whether I share it or not remains to be seen.

I steadily chip away at the first draft, writing a little more each day.  I am also editing my friend's book, working full time, and raising a family. So, who knows how long this will take, or if it will ever reach a conclusion. To be honest, I could probably stretch the story for many generations. 

I doubt I'll do that. I think one more should tie up the story well enough. I am excited to see where it goes...

Prologue

The elderly man sits in the living room of a quiet house, looking out the window. He looks tired, and his thoughts seem to be someplace else. He gazes outside as the sun sets on the sprawling property. As night slowly covers the grounds, his eyelids droop. When he opens them, his wife and daughters are on the couch across from him. She smiles as she stands and holds out her hand. “Come, Horace. It’s time to rest.” The young man stands up and walks upstairs with his family, toward a room with a red door. He can hear others moving around, saying hello to him, welcoming him. He is home.

Setting my intention

 I will lose weight. 

My goal is to be 130 pounds. That is a weight loss of 40 pounds. I will do it, or at the very least, make it to 140.

I bought a protein shake (supposedly better than Shakeology, we shall see). I got new weights (tried cardio and yoga and cannot keep myself motivated). I already have a water bottle, I am doing great with that. 

I will get my ass in gear, and workout daily. Even if it's a small amount. Yesterday I did 2 sets of 10 reps, for about 7 moves. I felt that I should do more, but I don't want to hurt myself and not be able to continue. 

I will eat better. I will not snack incessantly, and I will be more aware of what I am eating.

I will research and implement new weight lifting exercises. Yesterday I was only able to purchase a set of 5 lb weights, which is fine. Eventually I would like to get a kettlebell, and maybe a set of 10 lb weights. I also need to use my resistance bands more.

I will love my body, in all of its stages. This is such a struggle for me. Honestly, it has been since I was 22. I always found reasons to hate my body. Now it's worse being I'm considered obese. But I will not let that happen anymore. Below is a time when I was "thin" and happy, and also a time when I was "fat" and happy. I will love my body no matter what.

2013ish

a few weeks ago

        

I'm annoyed and venting

 I am trying to move. I do not need judgement on the location... yet I get it. This is me saying all the crap I cannot say aloud.

Okay, not a perfect neighborhood. However I live in a broken down crawlspace of an apartment. It would be great to have a full house with a fenced in backyard. So what if the street is narrow? I live in a cesspool of a town. Three streets over is still gonna be the same crime rate. I'm grateful to not live on the busy street with a rowdy upstairs neighbor anymore.

My neighbor wants to sell her house to us... but who knows when she will be ready to do so. I need to get my older daughter registered for the next school year. I need more space. I can't live in this broken down apartment anymore. This damn house is good enough. It's not forever. And it's none of your damn business where I move as you have put me and my family in so many fucked up situations.

You aren't the one waking up at 5am to someone slamming a riding mower into your bedroom wall. You aren't the one dealing with screaming dogs, and loud annoying people, and things breaking down. You aren't the one that has zero extra space in their bedroom, and not having a yard for the kids to be in. You don't live on a noisy street.

Sorry that you dug me into a hole of debt so I cannot apply for loans. Sorry I don't run scams to make myself an asston of money. Sorry that I'm not trying to marry up, and I don't mooch off of others. I bought my own damn car. I'm paying off all my debts. I'm going to drag myself up, and provide a great life for my family. Don't forget where you came from, and how hard your family had to work. They weren't always in the position they are now. But somehow you seem to forget all that everyone has gone through, as you skate by. 

You just watch me, rising from the ashes of the life you handed me. You aren't in control. You can watch me succeed on my own. And eventually I will get the better house. Eventually I will use that house as a rental, and keep moving up and out. I will get my beautiful dream home some day, and you will just be the same as you always have been... because you know nothing about real life.

Cirkul Bottle Review

 

I am trying to be healthier. I cut out my soda intake, and want to drink more water. To help me do so, I ordered a Cirkul bottle and 6 starter flavors. I just got the bottle today, but I already have some thoughts.

Ordering Impressions: I ordered from this company because there was a discount on a bottle and 2-3 flavors. (Click here to get the deal!) Cool deal, very exciting. HOWEVER, a few things. You are forced to subscribe (you can cancel). Customer service is not responsive. I know this because: It took over a month to get my initial order. That is fine, I understand they are backed up. But, the subscription order was sent and arrived before the first order even shipped. I never got response from customer service other than a standard email saying there are delays. I am probably going to put my subscription on hold since I now have so many flavor cartridges.

On the plus side, they do have a variety of flavors and bottles. You can also choose what flavors you would like for your subscription, and it is easy to change how often you get your next package.

First Impressions of Product: After waiting so long for this bottle, I was unsure of how much I would enjoy it. So far, I am impressed. I opted for the raspberry lemonade flavor (sweetened with Stevia). It was easy to assemble. The cap stays attached, but has a clip to keep it tucked out of the way. The flavor strength is adjustable; I have it at 3, as 4 was too strong, but it goes up to 10, and you have the option to close the flavor and just drink the water. On setting #5, the flavor cartridge is supposed to last 4 bottle fill-ups, which equals about $.82 per drink. Also, the cartridges are recyclable (You may have to call your recycling center to be sure they will accept them).

I have noticed a clicking noise after I drink from it, almost like air is caught inside. But otherwise, it is great so far. I will update in a week or so, after I have tested it out more.

Quick Side Note: I just noticed that you get points depending on orders, how long you stay subscribed, etc. The points can be used on bottles AND flavors.

One Week Impressions: I really like this bottle. So far I have only used 2 of the flavor filters, but both were great. I do find myself drinking a lot more water. I have my settings at 3-4, I find anything higher is too strong for me. My current filter seems to have an airflow issue; it whistles and the nozzle overflows after drinking. Not a huge problem, just annoying. Also annoying, knowing when your flavor has run out. I thought my first one was done so I disassembled it, pulled the packet off, and there was so much left. Whoops. I also have flavors that I probably won't use, and You have to use the cartridges within 7-10 days after sipping from them as they can form mold. I think I am going to adjust my next order to include items without caffeine so that I can drink them without changing.

I'm just so tired

 I am sorry that I have not kept up with my blogging about.... well, anything.

I have to be completely transparent here. I am tired.

This week, I am sick. But, even before that, exhaustion has settled into my bones. I try so hard to keep up with life, and right now, again, it crushes me. I know I will come out of it fine. But for right now, I'm tired and can't seem to fully wake up.

Not just physically. Emotionally as well. I feel like every time I make progress, there is someone there to grab my arm and try to pull me backwards. I have so much heavy stuff in my heart right now, things that I don't know how to fix, things that terrify me. I have zero motivation to do pretty much anything, because I am so weighed down.

The road to recovering from trauma is rarely straight-forward.

I realized today that I am holding on to so much, from the recent past, but also the not-so-recent. I heard an announcement for a concert I have gone to so many times, but it filled me with dread and anxiety. The last time I went was the start of the worst period of my life. And while the person I went with and I have since forgiven each other, it seems I have not forgiven myself. I'm not ready to go back yet.

I feel like I am missing a chunk of who I once was. I am working hard to find myself again, even though I have no drive to do so. I feel it is imperative to my healing process to figure that out.

Please bear with me during this time, as I may not be as consistent as I should be.

Daydreaming On Paper Prompt: List Your Favorite Things

 I was actually going to skip this. But I realized that I have been neglecting myself, yet again, because I take a backseat to everything else in my life. So without further ado, a list of my favorite things!

• Lilacs: My childhood home was like a wilderness in my young eyes. I had a full garden, a giant crab-apple tree, a grape vine, and flowers everywhere. We even had a rose vine growing up the back of the house. But my favorite thing was the lilac bush out front. It was entwined with a honeysuckle bush, and was HUGE. It was the best scent and visual ever.
• Lemon: I love the flavor, the color, the scent. My dream kitchen is lemony colored. (It makes me hungry)
• Cats: I love all animals. I have a chinchilla/jerkface rodent that I adore. However, cats will forever be my favorite. My life feels incomplete without one in my home (We haven't had one in recent years as my ex is allergic).
• The Tenth Kingdom: This is my feel good mini-series. Anytime I am upset, this goes on. It is so dumb at points, but I love it.
• Hot wings: By far my favorite food. Luckily it is also my boyfriend's favorite, so we eat them often.
• Blue: I love the color blue. In any form.
• Eric Clapton: My favorite guitarist/vocalist of all time. Any song he does is like heaven to me.
• Nintendo 64: I am super mad at myself for selling my last one. This system has so many memories; The re-releases are nothing compared to the originals in my mind.
• Truly fairy-like areas: We went to see the fairy houses on South Mountain Trail last week. However, the area around it was my favorite. Trees, a babbling brook/waterfall type spot, filtered sunlight. I could have stayed there forever.

I am sure there are more, but these stand out to me.

I Made Myself Sick: A Lesson In Self Care

 I woke up yesterday, after barely any sleep, feeling like I had been run over by 3 Mack trucks. I went to work and realized there was no way I was going to be an asset to my office. They also knew that, and sent me home to rest. (Side note: My work actually cares about their people.) No clue how I made it home in one piece as I was exhausted. I slept for 7 hours straight, starting as soon as I got home, and then I slept through the night.

I went through a period of exhaustion a few weeks ago as well. However, I had nothing going on that day. I didn't know why I was so tired at that time, as I had a relaxing weekend. Now I know:

I have neglected myself.

I have been so worried about making sure my family was provided for and taken care of that YET AGAIN I have let myself suffer. Sure, I do superficial crap like buy myself a few cute trinkets, or play Animal Crossing. However, I have not been fully providing for myself. I stopped doing my daily tarot reading. I don't spend time outside every day. I am not making sure my nutrient levels are okay (I am iron deficient, and let me tell you, I can tell if it's too low).

I need to start holding myself accountable. Doing things to bring me joy, and health, and sticking with them.

Because if you don't care for yourself, who will?

Daydreaming on Paper prompt

 List ten things that you have lost or given away that you would like to have back again.

1.  My photo collection. I had a box full of photos, of my childhood, family, kids. I lost them when I had to decide between a storage unit and electricity.
2.  My acoustic guitar. Again, I lost this with the storage unit. My dad bought it for me when I was 16, and it was my stress comfort for a long time.
3.  My baby blanket. I am almost positive my mother got rid of this. I had packed it for an overnight trip to my friends house, and somehow it disappeared. Again, a source of comfort.
4.  My jade necklace. My aunt bought me this beautiful jade necklace, and I took it off to shower and when I came out it was gone. Again, I feel my mother had something to do with this, as I never saw it again.
5.  My surgery bear. When I was 5, I had my first surgery. My grandparents bought me a stuffed bear that lay on a pillow and played music. It was a source of comfort, not just for me, but my roommate in the hospital as well. My mother threw it away one of the many times she "cleaned" my room. 
6.  My engagement ring. This may seem dumb. But I bought this ring myself, and it signified a lot over the years. It got destroyed, much like I destroyed that relationship.
7.  My grandmother's items. I inherited a decent amount of Native American memorabilia when my grandmother died. Over the years, it has disappeared, or been destroyed accidentally in moves. I have a few pieces left, and I cling to their memories.
8.  My N64. Honestly, nothing compares to this system. The memories and nostalgia attached to it... (see also: Sega Genesis)
9.  My poetry book. Senior year of HS, I took Words, Music, and Poetry. Our final project was a book. I decorated mine with pictures, and poured so much into it. Some of my best work was in there.
10.  Honestly, I can't think of anything else. Everything that crosses my mind is superficial and can easily be replaced, aside from people and ideas. 

Take the Time

 I went on a vacation this weekend... sort of.

My boyfriend and I went to a hotel not too far from home. We sprung for a suite, with a hot tub. We brought dvds, and just spent a weekend enjoying our life together. We went to the zoo, ate out, and just spent time together as a couple. 

With both of us working, and the kids, it is hard to remember who we are as a couple. We steal little moments here and there, but our life revolves around the kids and making memories and providing security for them. This weekend was just about us. 

That sounds so selfish, but I have come to realize that couples need that. It is so easy to forget who you are together, aside from just parents and workers. We are a team, yes. But we also fell in love with an individual, and you should take time to reconnect.

It doesn't matter how you do it. We didn't go far, and we were still available if the kids needed us. But we made sure we were together, alone, and focused on each other the whole time. 

In the past, I haven't been the greatest mate. Mainly because I've never taken the time to fall in love with my significant other again. My sole focus was the kids, and my love life suffered constantly and repeatedly. I have found the person I want to spend forever with, and I am willing to put in the work.

When was the last time you were just... together?