Feel What You Do

Life is too short to live with regrets.

Every so often, I forget that. Sometime I lose sight of the fact that life should be filled with your joy, not just your sorrows.

I have felt a lot of sorrow lately. Some is explainable (anniversaries of loved ones deaths are within the first 4 months of the year), but some just hits fast, hard, and out of nowhere. I can't stop it, I can't explain it. But, I also know that it needs to stop.

More often than not, I find myself too busy to take care of my mind. I shower, brush my teeth, go to work, eat, sleep.... but what do I do for my SOUL? Usually, nothing. I stretch my nerves to the breaking point and then crash in a heap of stress. And I know a lot of people do the same.

STOP IT.

Take care of your spirit. Nurture yourself, like you did as a kid. Play, read, write, love.

I love with my whole being. It is who I am, who I've always been. I bring joy to people by being me. But sometimes, there's a voice (either in my head or outside my body) that says "No, you are too friendly. You are doing something wrong." But... what is wrong with spreading love in a world full of hate? What is wrong with loving someone and wanting them to know that someone cares about them? NOTHING.

Do what you feel, and feel what you do.

Spread joy and love, and feel it in you. But as the same idea, if you spread hatred, maybe try to feel that too. Feel how it affects others. And make a change.

If you love something, do it. Nurture that desire to change, to dream. Don't be afraid to make waves. Climb trees, read books, listen to music.

BE YOU. Because in the end, you are the only one that can make you happy.

Into The Unknown

I decided to quit.

I have been at my company for over a year, and before that, I was at a competitor for 4 years. I know my job by heart. But, lately, I have been unhappy. I looked into leaving a few months ago, but I was promised a few things that kept me here. I'm just worn out, and I need a change.


I got a new job, in technically the same industry, but a completely different aspect. I'm excited, but terrified! OMG, I have a desk job. I haven't had one of those in forever. I'm in a Monday through Friday gig. Like, what do I do about this?!?!


This is a great thing for myself and my family. I no longer have to worry about scheduling trips for the weekends and requesting off and praying I get approved. I will have a set schedule, and I can actually enjoy weekends with my children! I'll still have my overnight job (I love it there, and the benefits are phenomenal, I'm never leaving LOL). But, I feel free. I'll still be working the same amount of time, but I feel like I have so much more now. I feel peaceful for the first time in I don't even know how long.


You know what I did last week? I made a list of events happening in my area that I would like to go to, all of which are on Saturdays. And guess what? I CAN GO TO THEM!!!!!!


Next week starts the rest of my life, in a new career, with a new path. I am thrilled to go into the unknown, even when it's scary for me. My question is, CAN YOU SAY THE SAME? Are you on the path you should be on, or are you stuck standing still because you are scared?

Don't stop moving when it's scary, because the other side could be the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

Happiness Is A time Of Day

Happy Daylight Savings! Oh wait, no, it's not happy. We lost an hour!!!

Yesterday, I spent all day baking. When I say all day, I don't mean a few hours here and there. I mean a full 8 hours! I went to bed sore and exhausted at 11pm (I had to take the hubby to work, otherwise I would have went to bed earlier.) Then, an hour of sleep was stolen from me, and I woke up sore and exhausted... Umm, forgive me, but what the crap?!

A cup of Almond Joy coffee later, I feel a little better. I got to watch the baby run around and laugh for an extra hour, and today I am taking the time to relax a little extra. As I do so, I will look at this day as a blessing. Even though we may wake up so tired, it only lasts for a day or two while we acclimate. But, we get a little more time to enjoy life and have fun. I saw a meme asking why they change the time in the middle of the weekend instead of on a weeknight. I think it is better this way. Most people don't work on Sundays, so we get one more hour to enjoy a day off! If we did it on a Thursday (or another weekday), we would be an hour closer to going back to work. Ugh.

So, today, look for the joy of your extra hour. Unless you "slept in". In that case, screw you, lol.

Have a wonderful Sunday!!!

Chasing Chase

Every year around this time, I start thinking about the past and all the little things that led me to where I am today. One of those things is Chase.

Chase was born shortly after midnight on January 1st, 2009. Even though I wasn't there for it, I stayed awake and knew as soon as he was born. It's sad that I remember this, since I only met him once when he was a few months old.

So why do I remember his birth? It's because his birthday was at a pivotal moment in my life. A few weeks before, I had told my husband I wanted a divorce. I had my "dream job" (or at least the job I had been training for my whole life). I was asserting some form of independence for the first time in my adult life. Sad since I was 23.

I feel like everything after Chase's birthdate was a new life for me. Since then, I got into a motorcycle accident, been in numerous relationships, had a few jobs, went to college, had a baby, met new people, and lost a few people, too.

I look back on this time and realize how much my life has changed. I look different, think different, act different. And since I am a nostalgic person, I look back and miss all the incarnations of myself. I also miss the person I thought I would become. I thought I would be married once, never divorced, have 3 kids, live in a nice house in the country, be a hip stay at home mom, and maybe have an animal rescue. Wow, dream big, right? Reality: I am divorced, engaged, mother of 2, live in an apartment in a not-so-nice town, and even though I am a stay at home mom, I am far from hip. (To be fair, I definitely had a hip phase, but it's way too much work right now.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I wouldn't trade the experiences I have had for anything. It all led me to this point, where I have an amazing family and I've grown into myself as a pretty cool person. (Trust me, I'm awesome.) But, every year, I will most likely think of my past, and the moment I started chasing Chase.