For the One I Have Lost.
I love you.
I miss you.
I want you back.
This post is about my beautiful cousin, Carrie Lynn. She would have been 30 today. Every year her birthday sneaks up on me, as does the anniversary of her death. Dead. That hurts to think, even after her being gone for 9 years. She was the most alive person I have ever met. She loved everyone, and you could see her light shining, even if you didn't know her. Brilliant. That is a good word for Carrie.
She was a singer. Just like I am. In a way she drives me to sing more now that she's gone. I remember when my grandmother died, we sang "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye". Carrie was a strong singer during rehearsals, but I couldn't bear it. But she made me stronger. When it came time to perform, she broke down and I held her hand and kept going. When I heard about her death, I sang that song for days, just to feel close to her.
How did she die? She was stolen out of the world. Two men brutally murdered her in her home.
I don't want to talk about that.
I want to talk about how amazing she was. She was a 4H girl. Loved all animals, but especially horses. When she was buried, her casket was pulled by a horse drawn carriage. Fitting.
She was in love. I have never met Jimmy. But I know Carrie. She loved him.
She would have been a great mother. She was amazing with children. She had a soothing nature. Any time I was scared, she could calm me down.
She was horrible at schoolwork when we were younger. I'm 4 years younger, and we used to switch homework. Guess that secret is out!
She was funny. She managed to always make people laugh and feel joy.
I still feel that joy when I think of her.
But I feel sorrow too. Because I miss her so much. I try to live my life the way she would, because she can't do it anymore. But sometimes, most times, I wish she was here to share all these amazing things with me.
I still love you Carrie, and I will never let you be forgotten.
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