Finding Your Happy Place

I recently re-stumbled on the secret to a happy life... or at least a non-chaotic one:

you need a "happy place".

Mind you, it doesn't actually have to be a place, but it could be something you do to clear your head.

I say re-stumbled because I knew this at one point, and lost sight of it. My way of reaching peace is by hula hooping. It may seem childish or simple, but it works. While I am hooping, my mind becomes clear, and I simply focus on movement. It's very comforting. I can even do it while watching tv. Added bonus: it's a good workout. There are plenty of hoopers on Youtube to keep me motivated (my favorite is Safire). Here is a video I made when I was first starting out (sorry, it's a bit crappy, but I was very new, and I don't have the time to make a new one right now).





Obviously, hooping is not for everyone (I had a friend that refused to even try it). So, here are some suggestions to help you find your own happy place:

- start a garden
- write in a journal
- read a book
- knit/crochet
- dance
- create a scrapbook
- coupon
- meditate

There are many more things that work. The key is to get so engrossed in something that you forget your problems, or get your mind clear enough to find solutions to them. If you have any more suggestions, or have something you do to reach nirvana, please leave a comment!

Eating for Fifteen

I want to say this now, this post is coming from my phone, so forgive the unpolished look.

You may be reading the title and saying, is Trish pregnant?!?! No, I am not, thank god. However, I feel like I have numerous tapeworms, lol. I have been eating so much, and even though I know why, sometimes it bothers me.

I am breastfeeding. Any mom who had gone through this process immediately understands where I'm coming from, but let me enlighten the masses (especially the guys telling their significant others that they need to stop eating so much).

BABIES STEAL EVERYTHING!!!! They steal your heart, your space, but most of all your calories. If I don't eat 5,000,000  calories a day, I feel famished and sick. Even though I haven't done it (yet), I could probably eat a jar of peanut butter in one sitting. As a matter of fact, I am craving it right now. (Yep, cravings continue after birth!)

So why am I being so open about eating like Bruce in Matilda? Because it's not being talked about. Right now, breastfeeding is a HUGE topic. But no one really mentions the "side effects". The books say it will hurt, and that you may be a little hungrier. They don't tell you it's hard. It's work. Once baby gets older, it turns into a workout (I liken it to wrestling an octopus). It's no wonder we are so hungry!!

Also, I should tell you that I stopped worrying about my "pre-baby body". Pardon my language, but fuck that noise. I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant, but my belly somehow manages to be squishy. I just really don't care anymore. I have time to be fit later. (I do hula hoop a little, but it's mainly a stress reliever)

I guess, as I sit here late at night, eating pretzels, that I want women to know it's okay. You aren't the only one eating like food is going to be dumped in the ocean tomorrow. It's also okay to feel out of control sometimes. Truth is, you probably are. Whatever, do better tomorrow. Today, the baby gets an added treat.

How to let go... or not.

Have you ever dreamed about a person in your past?

Of course you have. Everyone has at some point or another. But what happens when they start haunting you? I don't mean like you see in movies where ghosts are following you and scaring you. I mean in your mind.

Lately I have had a few people on my mind, and they just won't leave me alone! Some have passed on, some are just out of my life, but all will never have full closure. While I am okay with that, they still keep popping up and my mind wanders with "what-ifs". So how do I make it stop?

While I have not figured out how to get them out of my dreams, I have been getting better during the day. I think this is due in part to me finally watching Eat Pray Love. (Truth: I have been putting this off forever. I figured it wasn't my type of movie, but it's actually pretty good. I watched about half of it before I had to leave, but I did get something out of it.) The main character was having a hard time letting go of the people she had left behind, and the person she was with told her that when they cross her mind, to send them love and let them pass on by. So I have been working on this.

Sadly, as easy as this sounds, sometimes it is easier to "chase the rabbit". (Yes, I am the nerd that just made a "Pacific Rim" reference.) However, NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM IT!! You can't do anything different with your past, for one simple reason: it has already passed. Trust me, sometimes when I am having a hard day, I love to stroll down memory lane, but it really does not help me. In fact, it tends to make things worse. As much as I love and miss my ghosts, they are gone. They aren't going to help me when new problems arise. They aren't going to pay my bills, or bring me soup when I'm sick, or fix my car. So, when they jump into the foreground of my mind, I send love out into the universe, wish them the best in whatever they are doing, and then wave goodbye and move on.

Dreams are different. Most people cannot control them. (Some people learn "lucid dreaming", but I don't have the patience, nor do I care enough. My dreams are not scary most of the time, but if yours are, it may be worth a shot.) At least once a week, I dream about someone from the past. Usually they are normal, boring dreams, but sometimes I wake up sad. It can be really hard not to dwell on these dreams, and then the people in them. My go-to fix is to distract myself. I'll play a timed game (so that I have to focus), or I'll play with the baby. The trick is to find something you have to pay complete attention to. Dishes are a surefire way to lose yourself in memories.

Another way to deal with dreams is to keep a "dream journal". You leave a notebook next to your bed, and as soon as you wake up (even in the middle of the night), you write down your dreams, or as much as you can remember. Then, you let it go. This works because you are forcing the memory out of you mind in a physical way. I used to try this, but I was didn't have the discipline to keep it up.

If you are still having a hard time letting go, or if it's becoming a hindrance to your life, seek help. This could be a therapist, but you could also confide in a friend to try to work out why these people keep popping up. Never be afraid to ask for assistance.

Have a great day, everyone!

This Crazy World

I just really need to vent right now.

I don't really watch the news because it's mainly negative. Yet, I still manage to know what is going on in my area, as well as across the country. I do daily searches and I am told the rest. But, even if I didn't, I'd still know how crazy the world really is. (As I write this, a news report flashed up saying man punched and stabbed randomly at a restaurant... I am watching MTV. You can't get away from it.)

I've seen 2 car accidents in the past week, both due to people not paying attention. A month ago, someone hit a person riding a bike right outside my house. There was NO WAY he didn't see her.

My town has a pretty high crime rate. Not as bad as a few others nearby, but for such a small town, it's a little excessive. Most of it is drug-oriented, but there was an armed robbery right down the street the other day!

I know the world has changed since I grew up, but I remember not being so afraid to step out the front door. I knew my neighbors, and it was rare we had to worry about keeping the doors locked at all times. Even in a "bad area", we didn't worry so much about crime. We knew it was happening, but we still felt safe enough to walk to the store or keep our front door open during the day.

The reason I felt the need to vent is because I feel sad about my girls, as well as my friends' children, growing up in this scary, sometimes horrifying world. Society as a whole is less empathetic and more selfish. (Easy example: if someone cuts you off while driving, and you beep, they will cuss you out and blame you for being on the road in the first place.) There is so much more anger now, and not enough caring. There are tons of videos of people, including children, getting beaten up, and no one stops it. Everyone is worried about getting video hits or whatever, they don't even stop to think, "Is this okay?"

I have an insane amount of empathy. I have stopped watching all those violent videos because they make me cry, and I can't fix it. I have to change the channel when those sad commercials come on (you know which ones I mean). So when I think about how horrible the world has become, it really breaks my heart. I just feel like it's going to get worse as time goes on, because how do you come back from evil?? Crime is easier than work, and being selfish gets you more.

I guess all I can do is be as nice, loving and selfless as I can, and teach my girls to do the same. But, at the same time, I have to teach them to not be naïve, and to guard themselves, because there are plenty of people who will take advantage if you let them.

How do you deal with raising kids at a time so different from when you grew up?